Recently Jeremy and i and our best friends did a photo shoot for some design students. It was fun and awkward at the same time. We've gotten some good feedback but i can definitely say i'm glad my work in life will keep me on the other side of the camera.
There is nothing hippie about my picture of Christ. The Gospels paint a picture of a very demanding, sometimes divisive love, but love it is and that's what God is. I accept the old Testament as more of an action movie: blood, lots of special effects, mass murder, adultery. The children of God were running wild, wreaking havoc. Maybe that's why they're so relatable.
But the way we would see it, those of us who are trying to figure out our Christian faith, is that the God of the old Testament is like the journey from stern father to friend. When you're a child you need clear direction and some strict discipline.
But with Christ we have access to a one-to-one relationship. In the old testament it was more one of worship and awe, a vertical relationship. The new Testament on the other hand, we look at Jesus who looks familiar, horizontal.
When i think about what i'm going to do with my life, all i can hear in my head over and over is the voice of Heidi Baker saying "You need to love people into the kingdom". How powerful are those words? You need to love people into the kingdom.
Don't preach them into the kingdom. Don't force or threaten or make them feel guilty for their sins. Just love. Love is all you need.
If there is an overflow of love in your life, you'll bear great fruit.
Our plans for travelling and spreading the love of God are really coming true. Next year around July/ August we're going to Mozambique and Malawi. I feel like my heart is in Africa already and it makes it hard to care about assignments and deadlines and strategic plans when my heart and my soul are consumed with an overwhelming desire to love these children who have never experienced it before, and to be there and taste what it's really like for these people and develop our vision for what we can do with our lives to greater benefit them.
I was reading this blog of some girl the other day and it was all about her expensive clothes and her habitual drug use and i thought how sad it would be if that's what i was living for. As much as it pains me that God told me i won't be getting the pretty house with the white pickett fence and vintage furniture any time soon, i am glad that my purpose in life is a little more than living for myself and my needs. 30% of the Malawi population are HIV positive and there are over 1 million orphans. I can't get to the end and stand before Jesus and say that i knew all that, i knew there was a need andi knew he wanted me to do something, but instead all my money and effort went into me. I can't do it.
I can only socialise by choice. If i'm forced into being friendly and i'm not in the mood to be, i can't smile and make conversation when i'm throwing a brick at you inside my head. I am no good at hiding emotions. So when you come over for an unexpected visit, i'm not so good with dealing with it. I use as little words as possible, mumble an excuse and quickly hide in my room. Such a fun person i am. And tonight shall be another one of these nights because i don't like to talk to people after a long day at work. Unless that person is Jeremy. Or Rick and Emma. They don't count. And if i've decided to invite you over or arranged to visit you, then you don't count either. But if i'm tired and looking forward to chilling with my book, my boy or Gilmore Girls and you come and interrupt that, don't expect much love from me. It sounds horrible, but it's just who i am.